I was a guest last night on a pre-recorded radio talk show. Anything Goes, hosted by Deb Kolb, an empowerment coach, radio host and colleague. It was fun, enjoyable and wonderful to share this space with her on the airwaves. Her topic was about a powerful perspective shift, a framework for your life, a tool to help you move forward whenever you feel stuck. Responsibility versus Blame.
Here are a couple of questions that can help you move forward from that feeling of being stuck.
What am I responsible for in this situation?
How have I created or contributed to this situation?
How have I allowed this in my life?
What can I do about it?
What choice and options do I have here?
What am I willing to do about it?
Responsibility - choosing the actions you want to take to produce the consequences you want in your life.
Response-ability: the ability to respond with the awareness of the consequences of our actions.
In the Blame Game Deb states the rules:
- Always look outside yourself for those responsible for those doing this to you
- Believe that you are powerless to do anything about the situation
- Accept that everyone is smarter, stronger, and more resourceful and have more power than you do.
I would like to add another rule:
- I am always right, and you are wrong.
This is the number one reason why we blame others, we also have a habit of rallying troops to help prove that the person who you blame is the villain.
When we blame others they are at fault, that makes us right.
When we blame ourselves we accept other people’s judgments, and opinions and give away our power.
Are you a Victim or a Master in your life?
- I can’t…
- I have to…
- I should…
- I am supposed to…
- It’ not my fault
- It’s all your fault,
- There is nothing else I can do.
- I choose to…
- I will….
- I am committed to..
- I intend to…
If you took 10% more responsibility for your life, what would you do differently?