An Empowering Space

Everything is perfect as it is”Wasgij” is jigsaw reversed. Its a jigsaw from a different perspective. This week a friend of mine lent me a jigsaw that she bought in Australia.  It was a thousand piece puzzle and I had forgot how much I loved building puzzles when I was a child. The excitement of finding each little piece and putting it in its perfect place.

I decided to build this puzzle as a form of relaxation, but what came out of it was a ” BIG SURPRISE”  - deep awareness and a reflective practice.  The reason the creators of this puzzle called it a “wasgij,” is because the picture that is shown on the cover of the box is not the actual image that needs to be built, rather it is the point of view or what one individual in the image is seeing.  It is imagining what he could be seeing and building that picture.

Wow what a crazy, innovative out of the box idea. Well my curiosity was peaked and my love for a challenge compelled me to dive in and immerse myself in 1000 tiny pieces of puzzle. II realized I had set a milestone for myself and would not stop until it was finished. I went to bed that night and it was as though my attention remained on the puzzle.  In the morning when I awoke, it was a public holiday so I did not need to go to work.  I thought I will relax and see what I get through with the puzzle.  I sorted out all the different colours of the puzzle and chose one to work with.  I was totally excited, like a young innocent child, as the pieces came together to form the picture, that yummy place of TAHDAH!!!!!! - wonder, awe and achievement. I began picking up pieces and instinctively knowing where to put them, they just snapped into place.  I had many images all built up but had no idea how they came together without a picture.  I began to place myself at the back of the picture, inside the picture and looking forward from the exact spot where the individual is in the puzzle.  My perspective shifted by standing in his shoes and all of a sudden I could see where everything fit.  Within three hours I had two thirds of the entire picture completed.  I noticed that whenever I was in the flow, every piece I picked up snapped into place, from the moment I had the thought this is impossible it could be so easy and I am attracted to the perfect piece, BOOM, I would not get another piece for 10minutes and would need to try , force, push, get frustrated, and want to walk away.

Spending this time on the puzzle, I learned things about myself.  I began to notice how focused, driven and persistent I become with a challenge.  There is a level of commitment or attachment and I will not let it go until I have accomplished the task.  It is as though I have made an agreement, a promise to myself and I will not let myself down.  There is also a childlike innocence, wonder and curiosity that shows up in play. I discovered the laws of attraction in the puzzle, being able to align yourself with energy, and feelings determined the outcome. Curiosity, wonder, joy , innocence, no expectations, freedom, intuitive, ease, effortless, flow versus, doubt, frustration, pushing, stuckness, disappointment, having expectations, struggle, difficulty .

Our beliefs, fears and doubts block our energy. The shifts were taking place in split seconds. Getting up from the table whenever I felt frustrated and walking around and coming back, shifted the energy and the perspective and in a snap I was in flow again.

I finally finished the top part of the puzzle today and then realized one piece was missing.  I felt disappointed, I looked everywhere for the piece but it could not be found.  I felt disappointed that I could not finish the puzzle.

Then I started to wonder:

• How many times in your life have you done things and did not appreciate what you had accomplished because “one piece of the puzzle” was missing?
  
• How often do you focus on what is missing instead of what is there?
• What can you be grateful for in this moment?
• What were you able to accomplish?
• How perfect was this exercise?
• What lessons did you learn from the missing piece?

Everything is perfect as it is, even when you cannot see clearly.  It is usually  only a shift in attention, shift in focus, shift in perspective, shift in awareness that moves you from frustration to Joy.

Here is the wasgij puzzle I built:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0032VUUY0?ie=UTF8&tag=empowspace-20&creativeASIN=B0032VUUY0

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In my coaching I have come to realize how we are guided in our lives by hidden expectations and silent rules for living, all of which we are unaware.  The only way in which to make it visible is by exaggeration.  I use this as a tool with my clients on occasion to help them become aware of the thoughts they are thinking, the emotions they may be feeling and the behaviors they are choosing and hence the reality they are creating for themselves.

A scenario I may pose is:

Suppose I am from another planet where we do not worry, and I had no idea how to be worried, what would be the rules I would need to follow to become an excellent worrier, an expert in that field?

Here is what one client wrote and I would like to thank her for the permission to share it with you:

The Art of Worry

5 Guidelines That Will Aid Even the Hopelessly Happy in Effective Worrying

Given the awful polluted world we live in, coupled with the fast paced lives that technology has forced us to lead and exacerbated by decline of traditional wholesome values, it is imperative that we all aim to achieve a firm grasp on the art of worrying. For without indulging in total and complete worry, how else are we to cope with all the demands of this world?

The physical benefits of worrying are numerous: we never waste time sleeping too much, we maintain a serious demeanor (which people commonly associate with intelligence) as well as preventing you from eating too much. Absolutely great: you can become efficient and slim, all while looking intelligent, just from worry!

While reading this have you begun to worry that perhaps maybe you won’t be able attain the coveted zen like state of absolute worry? If you have, then my friend, you are already on the true path. If not however, the following guidelines will attempt to help you in your quest.

5. Dress the part…

Any sort of sleepwear is acceptable; it would be preferable to choose any clothing that does not flatter your body type. Having positive ideations about your physical appearance will only serve to deter you from focusing on the possible cancers and/or or diseases that could be inhabiting your body at this very second. Keep in mind that pretty clothes are just a ruse designed to distract you from the inevitable signs of ageing: sallow skin, graying hair, weight gain, and (I think the best) all the sagging wobbly bits.

4. Isolation and Environment

Now that you have donned your worry uniform, the next step involves placing yourself in an environment conducive to worry; such as a dark untidy bedroom. Of course no one else will be in this special worry sanctuary. Remember that isolation is an integral part of allowing the any small worry to fester into full blown deep seated worry and anxiety. Spend several hours in your worry sanctuary doing nothing except focusing on that which you are worrying. Do not do any other useful tasks and resist the urge to tidy up your surroundings. These activities will produce endorphins and will only counteract all the hard work you have already done.

3. Keeping away from temptation…

Self help books, saccharine TV preachers, overly zealous friends and family members….even Miley Cyrus music.. will all try to dissuade you from the ever reliable comfort that only true worry offers. I like to refer to these as worry vampires…sucking the worry out of any situation. Be on the lookout for these vampires. Guard your brooding moments with your life.

2. Drink lots of coffee and worry friendly foods.

Now that you have prepared your external environment such that it will be conducive to worry, it follows that we must now turn our attention to the foods that we put into our bodies so it will operate at maximum worry efficiency. Foods that slow down our metabolic rates such as fried foods and foods that cause our blood sugar levels to spike such as sweets and cakes all aid our bodies in worry. These foods help us two-fold: not only do these foods affect our body chemistry but, over time, they alter our physical appearance. Isnt’ that wonderful? Overtime eating these foods will cause expanding waistlines, a sense of remorse, shame, premature ageing, guilt…all perfect worry catalysts! Caffeine will help to curb your need to waste time sleeping.

1. Whatever you do…..DO NOT SMILE

This should be self explanatory. No matter what the circumstance it is imperative that your demeanor of worry be maintained.

I sincerely hope that this article will help you to become a better worrier and to overcome any obstacles that may prevent you from worrying.

All the best,

Safia

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Two of my favourite authors and coaches are Rhonda Britten (Fearless Living) and Debbie Ford (The Shadow Effect). Both of them write about our fears, doubts, and aspects of ourselves we wish to hide.

So much of life is spent running on this never ending treadmill, trying to avoid, deny, escape certain aspects of ourselves while chasing the exact opposite to prove we are this better, good, smart, loving, creative, strong, independent, loyal, dependable, honest, generous person. When we feel badly about ourselves we start running in the opposite direction to escape these feelings, instead of being with these feelings to see what they are really trying to let us know. What messages can these emotions teach us about our true self? We run from the dark and chase the light. Yet, you could not recognize light, if you did not know darkness and vice versa.

Our emotions trigger that lightness and darkness within ourselves. Some of us are addicted to one emotion - sad, mad or glad. Sometimes we, judge, criticize, blame, and beat up on ourselves, which leads us to a very dark disempowering, uncreative space where we feel we have no choices. Our emotions trigger thoughts which then affect the actions that we will take. The key to success is awareness, only through awareness can we have choice and open up to a wellspring of creative solutions.

I was sent a wonderful set of intentions in the following Vow of Emotional Independence written by Debbie Ford in her monthly news letter, and thought I would share it with my readers. I now use this as my morning practice, where I recite these wonderful vows and intentions.

The Vow of Emotional Independence

I, (insert your name), (Lydia Mattison) am committed to living free of the strangulating grip of fear, shame, doubt, worry, anger, and sadness.

I promise to give my power to the force greater than myself rather than some food, substance, bad habit, or disempowering craving.

I will stand for my highest expression rather than allowing others’ judgments to define who I am.

I will always make sure to please and take care of myself instead of succumbing to any people-pleasing habits.

I will listen to the voice of my soul rather than listening to the voice of my critical internal judge.

I will find joy in each and every day of my existence rather than get caught up in the insanity of my world.

I will take care of my planet and let my voice be heard instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me.

I will choose powerfully each and every moment to make choices that leave me feeling inspired by myself and will graciously let go of my self-defeating behaviors.

I take this vow NOW as a positive stand for my soul’s highest expression and for every man, woman, and child on this planet today.

As I set myself free, I am freeing myself and others from the violence of my darkest thoughts, my negative projections, and my limiting self-image.

And now I ask all the powers that be to support me in living this vow each and every moment of each and every day.

As I surrender my will for the higher will, I know that I will be guided from my darkest thought to my greatest dream, from my head to my heart.

Today, I commit to living in full accordance with this vow.

And so it is.
Live as if this is your birthright and your destiny - because it is.

© Debbie Ford, July, 2010

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кухненски столовеwhen I am playful and curious about myself

when I smile

when I see humour and can laugh at myself

when I spend time with my husband and children

when I allow instead of resist

when I act from love instead of reacting with fear

when i get to choose instead of have to’s and should’s

when I have a grateful heart

when I show mercy to myself rather than self-blame

when I am compassionate with myself instead of cruel and unkind

when I am honest and do not hide

when I am open to something better than feel a need to hang on

when I surround myself with small pleasures

when I look for connections versus differences

when I allow things to unfold rather than try to force an outcome

when I am open hearted

when I am present instead of lost in activity

when I am vulnerable and share my experiences with others

when I am being Awareness

when I choose peace versus conflict

when I face every challenge as a blessing in disguise

when I am still and practice silence and presence

when I breathe deeply

when I allow myself to be supported and accept help

when I allow myself time to slow down instead of leap into action

when I am open and receptive to the power of grace in my life

when I bring my mind into the present moment

when I dance sing and play

when I paint and give expression to my feelings

when I use my cards for self discovery

when I can tell myself it is all right, I understand

when I stop judging my emotions

when I forgive and let go of grudges

when I float in the ocean and imagine being one with the ocean and I can wrap my arms around the world, knowing that my feelings of love, compassion and caring go around the world and back to me

when I can see the divine in everything and everyone

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