Why are we afraid to see the light in ourselves and others?
How do we keep ourselves small?
Power tool: Acknowledgments vs Compliments
Compliment: is said in admiration, praise or flattery, it’s on the surface and it is more about the observer than the recipient.
eg. I like that dress, the colour red looks good on you.
Acknowledgment: speaks to the underlying essence quality or value that is unique or special to a person, it is done in a very measured way, it honours something unique, special, it is a gift. You recognize the specialness and value of those around you. It is paying attention to how someone touches your life and impacts the world. The value comes not just from doing but from being. It is honouring and recognizing the value in yourself and others. When acknowledging someone it is as though whatever action is stopped, you are fully present. You are present with your thoughts and feelings.
eg. You have such a creative and stylish way of putting your clothes together. You have such a strong sense of flare, you are attractive and innovative, you inspire me to try new things and be creative.
What makes it so difficult for us to acknowledge ourselves or to receive acknowledgments from others ?
* Is it that society or education has so focused on what is missing or what is wrong, or trying to correct a weakness, we have forgotten how to look for what is right, working and strong?
* Do we feel like we are boasting or “tooting your own horn,” if you acknowledge something about yourself?
* Do you feel others will not agree with you?
* Do we feel embarrassed, ashamed to stand out?
* Does it feel unsafe, untrue, unreal?
* Do you feel left behind when you acknowledge others?
* What are we afraid of by acknowledging others or by acknowledging ourselves?
* What would happen if you gave yourself and others more credit?
How do we deflect acknowledgments?
* By laughing it off
* By correcting someone and using your own words
* By making it less than it really is
* By making a joke of it
* By keeping ourselves small
* By engaging in cross talk with another
* By adding your own comments
In what area of your life, would you like to acknowledge yourself more?
Acknowledgment is a gift, do not deflect it. When you deflect it it is like giving a gift back to the giver saying: I don’t want it. I don’t like your gift. It does not fit. I’m sure this is for someone else, not me.
How can you receive acknowledgment?
* Be open to receiving it as the gift it is
* Maintain eye contact with the person who is giving it and open your heart to receive
* A simple “Thank You” let’s the person know that you have heard and received the acknowledgment.
* Refrain from “cross talk” - talking to someone else - or comments back to the person giving you the acknowledgment
How can I give only authentic, positive acknowledgment and support?
* Be authentic
* Keep it simple and to the essence of what you experience
* Maintain eye and heart contact with the person to whom you are giving support
* Notice if you want to criticize, give unsolicited advice, counseling or consulting and release it without saying anything.
Action Tip:
Acknowledge three people today.
Find five things for which you can acknowledge yourself.
What we focus on expands so practice a positive focus and connect with your heart. What you perceive in others strengthen in yourself.
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